


Parley in Progress

by rudimentaryflair



Series: Drabble Jar [4]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: (everyone else is mentioned except ash who gets a few lines), Actual Fighting, Attempt at Humor, Banter, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Food Fight, Humor, M/M, ash: i came here for food not drama, characters may be a little ooc due to background character development
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudimentaryflair/pseuds/rudimentaryflair
Summary: The one where James and Cilan are dating, and nobody approves. A lot of food gets massacred.
Relationships: Dent | Cilan/Kojirou | James
Series: Drabble Jar [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696225
Kudos: 25





	Parley in Progress

**Author's Note:**

> Just to lay out the timeline, this takes place after another fic I'm working on, which develops Questionableshipping (what I call James/Cilan) throughout Best Wishes. I'm not going to go over everything that happens, but the important things you need to know are these:
> 
> \- Iris and Jessie vehemently disapprove (and I don't really blame them)  
> \- a brief anti-fraternization club was formed, which was quickly disbanded when all the members realized they strongly disliked each other  
> \- Team Rocket and Ash have the same relationship as Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus
> 
> This is pretty self-indulgent and mostly written for me, so I'm not expecting anyone to read it, but just to cover all my bases: to any other weirdos out there who ship this pairing like me - I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Not betaed - we die like men.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” James said, hunkering down lower beneath Cilan’s flimsy collapsible table. For something that always snapped shut like a Clamperl at the slightest provocation, it was holding up surprisingly well under the ensuing melee. 

“Of course it was a bad idea.” Above them, a full salad bowl went flying through the air. They both winced at the crash and the tinkling of shattered glass, before Cilan continued. “Why do you think I planned for us to eat outside? This was bound to happen.”

“Well if you knew this was going to happen, why in the world did you cook so much food?” James pointed out as a platter of macarons followed the salad bowl. It was quickly countered by a volley of croquettes. 

Beside him, Cilan buried his face into his hands. “So maybe I was a little optimistic,” he said, muffled. He peered out from between his fingers at the smashed and ruined remains of the buffet lunch he’d spent the last few hours preparing. “I am going to cry,” he announced.

James almost felt bad for him. Almost, because he’d spent the last month and a half attempting to convince Cilan that a truce lunch between his twerp friends and Team Rocket was spectacularly stupid. Of course, he hadn’t listened, and now they were huddled under Cilan’s tiny travel table trying not to get caught in the battle that was raging above them. 

“This is your fault for being a suck-up,” James accused. 

Cilan scoffed. “No, it’s your fault for being evil.”

“I’m not evil!” James immediately protested, defensive. “Just because ─ ”

“You steal Pokemon.”

“Used to. I  _ used to  _ steal Pokemon ─ ”

“You also stalked a ten-year-old across the world for his Pikachu, even though you could easily catch a wild one yourself.”

“I’m not evil,” James repeated petulantly. “I’m just, you know. Morally questionable.”

“Morally questionable,” Cilan echoed, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m righteous about it.” James poked his head out from under the table, immediately ducking back down when the angry ball of fur and claws that undoubtedly contained Meowth and said previously mentioned Pikachu flew over him. “I will confess, I  _ am  _ bad enough that your disaster of a lunch party could’ve easily been foreseen and prevented.”

“It might’ve worked,” Cilan said sulkily, crossing his arms and pulling his legs closer to his chest. 

James looked at him disbelievingly. “Need I remind you that they briefly united to form an anti-fraternization club the moment they suspected we were dating?” He motioned between them. “They were willing to put up with each other to stop this. That's how strong their hate was.”

Before Cilan could retort, something sizable and solid fell from the table to the ground, splattering just a few inches from their shoes. 

“Not the beef wellington,” Cilan bemoaned so sadly that James was briefly worried he would actually start crying. “At least I didn’t bring out the baked Icirrus.”

James perked up at this. “There’s a baked Icirrus? Where?”

“It’s still in the fridge in the restaurant,” Cilan said. “I wanted to make something nice for dessert ─ ”

“I could kiss you right now,” James interrupted, giddy. 

Cilan flushed. “That might push the others from mildly homicidal to apoplectic,” he said, laughing. “Any better ideas?”

“Yeah,” James said. “Think we can sneak into the restaurant?”

“Only if you’re willing to deal with the risk of running into Cress and Chili.”

“Well, it’s better than being here at the moment,” James told him. “Besides, I’ll deal with anything if it means getting ice cream, cake, and a private room to make out with you in.”

“Glad to know I’m fourth on your list of priorities,” Cilan said dryly. 

James glanced out from the table again, trying to find them a clear path. “Sorry twerp, but you know ice cream and cake have a special place in my heart.” He paused, something occurring to him. “Wait, what’s the third thing above you?”

“Evil.”

_ “I cannot believe ─ ” _

Cilan suddenly toppled into him, shoving him into the side of the table and nearly capsizing it. For one horrible moment, James thought they’d finally been discovered and were about to get sucked into the mayhem, but then he noticed the twerp with the Pikachu wedging himself beside Cilan. 

The front of his jacket looked like an abstract piece of art, covered in stains of varying color and consistency. One of his sleeves was ripped, no doubt the work of a wayward fury swipe, and he was missing his hat; the left half of his hair stood straight up, like he'd shoved his finger into an electric socket. Despite all this, he seemed very unperturbed. 

“Hey guys,” he said, oblivious to their bewildered stares. 

Cilan spoke up first. “Hello Ash,” he greeted amiably.

“What are you doing here, twerp?” James demanded, forgoing the formalities. 

Ash shrugged. “I heard you guys had cake.”

“We do,” Cilan said the same time James snapped, “No, we don’t.” There was a pause. 

“James, be nice,” Cilan scolded. 

“Yeah James, be nice,” Ash repeated smugly, and James glared at him. 

“Both of you be nice,” Cilan amended. They eyed each other for a second longer, before acquiescing. “Now that that’s over with,” he said, a little more brightly, “do you have any ideas on how to get out of here?”

“We go out on James’ side,” Ash said immediately, which made James instantly suspicious.

“Hey now,” he said warily. “What about your side?”

“Well ─ ”

As though on cue, there was a loud crashing noise, followed by angry shouting and the thud of what sounded like two bodies hitting the ground. The three of them exchanged concerned looks, before poking their heads out from the side of the table to find Jessie and the twerpette brawling on the ground. 

“They’re working through some things,” Ash said lamely as they stared.

“Clearly.” James watched the twerpette ─ Iris, if he remembered correctly ─ vengefully shove a cheese soufflé into Jessie’s face. In retaliation, Jessie dumped half a jug of pink lemonade into her hair.

“This is getting a little too spicy for my taste,” Cilan said finally, after a long silence. “So, James’s side?”

Ash nodded in confirmation. “Meowth and Pikachu are there,” he informed them, “but their legs are small, so we can probably outrun them if we need to.”

“Famous last words,” James grumbled. “If your rat uses thunderbolt on me and I blast off, I’m going to be very mad.”

“I’ll go first if you’re scared,” Ash said, and before James could splutter out a protest, the twerp ducked out from under the table and was gone. 

James sighed. “I’m guessing it’s a pass on the private room?” he asked, more to himself. He wasn’t looking forward to having a third wheel on their, admittedly unconventional, lunch date. 

Surprisingly, Cilan said, “No.” When James looked at him in confusion, he clarified, “Cress’s Panpour evolved into Simipour, and Chili recently caught a Darmanitan. Once Ash sees their new Pokemon, he’ll want to battle in the gym. We can leave then.”

James blinked at the explanation, before smirking. “Oh, so you  _ can  _ be devious.”

Cilan shrugged, clearly pleased with himself but trying to hide it. “What can I say?” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “You’ve rubbed off me.”

And well, James really couldn’t deny that.

**Author's Note:**

> Jessie, Iris, Pikachu, and Meowth represent my four braincells all mercilessly beating the crap out of each other for getting stuck in rarepair hell. Also, a baked Icirrus is just the Pokeverse version of a baked Alaska (based off the snowy terrain of Icirrus City).
> 
> You can reblog this fic [here](https://rudimentaryflair.tumblr.com/post/620281525909520384/parley-in-progress-rudimentaryflair-pocket) on Tumblr. I'm rudimentaryflair!


End file.
